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This is a really long story I wrote, cause its been floating around in my head for a long time. i dont know why, but when i get the urge to write, i gotta get it out. this is a work of pure fiction, and it isnt acurate as far as all the details go, but i hope you will forgive me and just read and enjoy.
Part one
The sun on his face was what woke him from his unsound sleep. Unsound because of the nightmares that haunted his dreams. Looking at the alarm clock on his nightstand, he discovered it was already going on 8:30 am. Panic siezed his heart, and, looking for the cause of the problem, he discovered his flailing arm had bumped the snooze button by mistake.
"SHIT!" yelled young Jonathan, as he feverishly attempted to raise himself from his bed. School would begin in less than half an hour, and he was gratefull he hadn't bothered to remove his clothes the day before. Now looking around for something to dress his feet in, he could hear his stepmother going about her usual morning routine. Instantly his heart sped up, as he knew what would happen when he showed his face outside of his bedroom door. It happened every day, without fail. She would find something to make him suffer for.
Finally he found his old, beat-up, and very much prized Adidas tennis shoes, the ones he had worked so long and hard for. His stepmother had been against him getting a part-time job mowing lawns and doing general yard work for the nieghbors to get the money. He knew it was because she didnt want to be reminded of how lazy she was, who couldnt even force herself to go look for a job of her own. He slipped them on his feet and reached for his bookbag on the floor next to his bed.
Walking over to the mirror above his dresser, he grabbed a comb and half-heartedly attempted to comb his mess of bed mussed hair into some semblence of order. He walked to his door, took a few breaths, and opened it. He could hear the television blaring in the living room, even though there was no one there to watch it. His stepmother was probably in the bathroom or something.
I just hope I can get out of here without her seeing me. Jonathan thought to himself as he slunk past the bathroom door, firmly shut. Just as he walked past it, the door opened. There stood his stepmother, still in her nightgown, hair still unbrushed, with a toothbrush stuck in her mouth.
"What the hell are you still doing here?" she asked him acidly. Her voice was muffeld from talking around the toothbrush, which was certainly not attractive.
"I woke up late, but I still have time to get to school." he said, hoping she wouldn't try to delay him out of spite. He turned his back on her and continued walking towards the living room, which was where the front door, and freedom, awaited.
"Your father bought that alarm clock so this wouldnt happen, you lazy little shit." she said indifferently, and walked back into the bathroom, slamming the door.
Jonathan's hands curled into fists, and his eyes narrowed at the door to the bathroom. If anyone could have seen the look on his face, they would have sworn it was the look of a murderous psychopath. Only once in his life had he ever wanted to kill someone so badly. Hate is a strong emotion, and when it is felt, it is felt completely.
With the impetus of his little encounter still in his heart, Jonathan continued on his way. Opening the front door, he noticed a beat up old hunk of junk sitting in his driveway. His ride to school. Suprised to find him still here, Jonathan hurried to the car, opening the door and tossing his bag inside before climbing in himself.
"What the hell took you so long, butt-nugget?" asked his ride, Steve, clearly upset by the fact he had had to wait twenty minutes.
"My alarm clock didnt go off. Sorry." replied Jonathan, not particularly caring for his friends manner, or his choice of words.
"Sorry, hell! Do you know how long I've been waitin' out here for your sorry, cracked ass to come out that door?! Jesus man, I dont have all the time in the world to cart you around this town every day."
This was not what Jonathan wanted right now, but there was nothing he could do. He was his only ride to school, and he didnt want to say anything that would jepordize it. So instead he just sat there taking the abuse, knowing this would be another thing that Steve would dredge up when he wanted him to do something he didnt want to do. Like last weekend, when they went to the party and getting shit-faced because Steve didnt want to drink alone. He still felt sick, from the memory of the near accident they almost got into.
"Dont let it happen again, or you really will be walking to school, got it?" Steve said, knowing full well he had the upper hand.
"Yeah." Jonathan agreed, regreting his moment of weakness. He would never get over feeling controlled. It seemed everyone was doing something to control his life. Even his so-called friend controlled him.
On the way to school, Jonathan would sit and think of ways he could do something with his life. But after almost six years of thinking, he could never come up with a good idea. The only thing he was moderately good at was drumming, but that was out. His drum set had been completely destroyed by his stepfather, when he was still living with his mother. That was when he had come here, to Bakersfield, where his father had stayed after the divorce, to tend to his music store. That was why his stepmother hated him so much, he supposed. He broke up their happy little home. She was obviously too accoustomed to getting anything she wanted from his father, Rick.
Your so whipped, you dont even know it. thought of his father. Depressed by the fact that his father seemed too busy for his own son, Jonathan began doing the thing he would soon become famous for. He began to compose lyrics in his head. Dark ones this time, for that was the mood he was in. Most of them were, though. They tended towards the morbid, depressing side more often than not, and if he'd had the notion they would be worth millions one day, he might have jotted them down. But the thoughts of millions of dollars was the farthest thing from his mind right now.
The old, ugly brick fortress that was Highland High School loomed into his veiw. The sight of it further depressed him. Knowing the looks he would get would be so full of hate and primitve ignorance always filled him with anxiety. He wondered why they all hated him. He didnt think it was merely the fact that they thought he was gay. It had to be something more than that. It was probably the fact that he displayed who he was, and not what others wanted to see.
People are afraid of themselves, so they make up a different person for everyone else to see. he thought, just now realising that came awfully close to the truth.
"Hey man! Snap out of it! Its not like you didnt get plenty of sleep or anything!" Steve yelled, getting his attention by waving a hand in front of his face.
"Sorry, I was thinking about something." Jonathan replied, knowing that he must have looked like a fish with his mouth hanging open and staring straight ahead. He hadnt realized they had stopped moving, and were now parked in the student parking lot.
"Yeah I bet you were thinking of something alright!" Steve said slyly, making it into an inuendo. Jonathan blinked at him, totally confused and wondering what he was talking about. "I saw you staring at Lauren over there, like your toungue was gonna fall outta your head!" He pointed at the girl in question, which happened to be directly in front of the car, where Jonathan had been staring in his moment of thought.
"I was not! I told you I was thinking about something!" he said, all of a sudden feeling very defensive.
"Yeah right. Its not like its any big secret. Anyway, at least you werent staring at Jim!" Steve burst into laughter over this as Jonathan grabbed his bookbag and climbed out of the car, now only wishing he were inside, where he could sit and think for a while.
The front lawn of the school was filled with kids, waiting for the last minute when they would all have to be forced into the prison, but Jonathan didnt wait outside. The sun hurt his eyes, and everyone turned to stare at him as he was the only one moving towards the school. With his head hung down and his look of utter degection, he looked like a pariah being forced out of the world of the beautifull people. At least thats how he felt.
Opening the door to the student corridor, he automatically turned to the left, which was the direction he needed to go to find his favorite corner. Ever since he came to this school, he had sat in that corner, watching the students around him, and feeling content that he didnt have to be one of them. Just watching them for ten minutes was enough entertainment for one day. The way they all had to look, the things they had to say, just to get through the day or else be thrown out of the circle was just about as funny as watching drunk monkeys fight over a donut. Even one little slip was enough to get you thrown to the wolves. It all had to be perfect, and perfection was one of Jonathans least favorite things. For one it didnt exist, and for another, it was what everyone seemed to be striving for. The last thing he wanted was to be like everyone else.
After five minutes of watching the circus, the first bell rang. With a groan, Jonathan rose from his seat and began walking towards his first class. The hallways were now crammed with students on their way to class. In the press of bodies, he felt numerous elbows, feet and sometimes even fists, being slammed into his body. There was absolutely nothing he could do about it. So many people around him, and everyone was out to get him. Paranioa set into his brain, again, as he began to feel claustrophobia gnaw at his mind and heart. The worst part of his day would be this treck through the halls of the school. Knowing it would happen five more times in this day alone made him feel helpless. He looked up with hope in his eyes as he came within sight of his homeroom. Quickly ducking inside, he took a huge breath and went to find his seat. Last row, far right. Next to the window, so he didnt have to stare at the backs of heads all day.
Now he took his bag in front of him and opened it, looking for his algebra text book. As he was rooting through it, he felt a presence next to him. He looked up in anticipation of a sneering face and hatefull looks, but instead found himself staring at a girl he had never seen before. Long black hair almost hid a face which had the biggest blackest eyes he had ever seen.
Black eyes? he thought. They were black alright, or such a dark blue that it hardly seemed to matter. In fact the girl was one black figure from head to toe. Black longsleeved tee-shirt, black jeans, black steel-toed boots. Even her wristwatch was black. In contrast, her face was almost a sickly white, but somehow, he knew there was nothing wrong with her. Physically anyway.
"Hi. Im new here. I just moved into town last weekend, and I dont know my way around very well yet. Is theis Algebra I, in room 14?" she asked, a little shyly. She clutched at the text books in her arms, and shifted her wieght from side to side as she spoke, clearly uncomfortable talking to someone she didnt know.
"Uhhh- yeah, this is room 14." Jonathan answered, not knowing what to make of this girl yet. She seemed different from everyone else, and not just because of her outward appearance. She didnt look the least uncomfortable about talking to him. She looked like it should be nothing out of the ordinary to be talking to the "town faget", as he was known as. The looks that were being directed at them were a mix of curiosoty and hate. He ignored them, as did she, but he could feel the eyes burning into them.
"Oh good!" she said, clearly relived. "The numbers of the rooms aren't on the doors, so I had to count them from the beginning."
"Yeah, they painted the doors yesterday, and I guess they havent gotten around to putting the numbers back up yet."
"Well," she began, becoming a little shy again, "do you mind if I sit next to you? I cant stand those people over there. All they do is stare at me, and I hate it."
Her voice was low enough that it didnt carry, which spoke volumes to Jonathan. She must have had to speak low many times, or risk the fury of many jocks and cheerleader-types. He found himself beginning to like this new girl.
"Sure. By the way, my name's Jonathan." he said, moving his bag out of the empty desk next to him to make room.
"My name's Alexis, but all my friends back home called me Alex." she said, smiling. She sat down and put her books on the desk.
"Where did you move from? And why to Bakersfield, of all places?" he asked, wondering why anyone would want to move to this God-forsaken little backwater.
"My mom and I moved here from Michigan. A podunk little hick town called Potterville. I swear everyone was inbred or something." she said, brushing a few strands of hair out of her eyes, and reveiling a healing gash across her forehead. It was clearly meant to be hidden, for she pushed her hair back over it.
Jonathan didnt know if it was meant as a joke or not, but he couldnt help it. He laughed softly, and Alex grinned at him. It struck him then, that was the first time he had laughed in class. Ever. It shocked him into silence for a minute. But Alex didnt notice, and continued talking to him.
"My mom wanted a fresh scene or something, and she packed us both up and moved us off to Californy! Thats what everyone said. They're goin to Californy! My God I hated it there! The most hillbilly you can ever get north of the Mason-Dixon! Anyway, she didnt want me growing up in a big city, so she picked Bakersfield out of a hat. She looked at the atlas of California, found five cities with less than 10,000 people and put em all in a hat. Bakersfield it was. Thats it." she finished.
"Hm. Sounds pretty simple to me." Jonathan said, feeling that she was leaving out more than she was telling. That gash across her forehead looked to be part of the story. But he put it out of his mind. It wasnt his business, and if she wanted to tell him, she would.
"Yeah, simple." she said, suddenly sounding depressed. She began toying with the hem of her sleeve, making her look like a small child.
"Well hey, let me see your schedual? We might have a couple classes together." he said, trying to snap her out of the mood she was in.
She handed him her class schedual, and was a little suprised to find she had almost all of the same classes he did. All but two, and they were Phys Ed, and Child Rearing. One of the classes all girls were required to take. Which Jonathan didnt really agree with. It was like saying, all girls are going to become mothers. Oh well. Nothing to be done, and she didnt seem upset about it.
"It looks like we'll be in most of our classes together." he said. "How about I show you around? I can just show you where the other two classes are, if you dont know how to get to them."
Alex looked at him with an unreadable expression, but soon became gratefull for his help and understanding. Jonathan knew it was tough being the new kid, especially an outsider, like this Alex seemed to be. All of a sudden, he realised his depression had left him. Again he paused, as if to find it again, but it wouldnt come. He gave up looking, and just let it go. After all, he didnt even want it back.
The bell rang, signaling the beginning of class, and they both looked around at the rest of the students. All were staring at them, with confused looks on their faces, and clearly at a loss as to why these two freaks seemed to be in such a good mood. It looked like they were almost offended.
The teacher entered the room then, to a completely silent class, and stopped, wondering why the usual cat-calling and horseplay was not being held. Looking towards the back of the class, she spied Alex, and smiled.
"Alexis, would you come up here please?" she asked. "I want to introduce you to the class."
No one but Jonathan heard the soft sigh from Alex as she rose out of her seat and made her way to the front of the class. And only Jonathan was sensitive enough to hear the various taunts and jeers from the rest of the class. But despite all that, he was happy that she was brave enough to go through with this. He didnt think he would be able to do it, but he was used to underestimating himself.
Alex made it to the front, and the teacher, Mrs. Cranden, put a motherly arm over her shoulders. He could see her flinch, and knew she wanted to shrug it off, but she didnt. She stood there, patiently, while Mrs Cranden informed the class of the status of their new classmate. Many taunts followed the anouncement of her hometown, and Jonathan felt symathy well up from inside. Potterville could be made into so many different insults, it wasnt even funny.
I wonder how she does it? How can she stand there and listen to that, and not feel anything? he wondered.
Finally it was over, and Mrs. Cranden let Alex retreat to the rear of the room again. As she sat back down, she looked at Jonathan, and smiled. Actually smiled. Jonathan was suprised, and it must have shown, because she began to giggle. Quietly of course.
"It wasn't as bad as I thought it was gonna be." she said. "I was expecting a lot worse than that. It wasnt so bad."
"I wouldnt be able to listen to that. How could you take it?" Jonathan asked, clearly in awe of her ability to soak up such bitter hatred as all of a days work.
"I used to get it a lot worse than that in my old school belive me. Ill tell you about it sometime." she promised.
The rest of the class period was devoted to talking about the pep assembly taking place that day during fifth and sixth periods. Both Jonathan and Alex were completely uninterested and bored with the assembly. Niether were big on school spirit. Jonathan, because he had been here for so long, and Alex, because she hadnt been here long enough. So they sat through the next half hour, listening to various proposals from various students on how they could bolster school spirit, and had a good laugh over the ideas presented. It soon grew boring, and they both wished the bell would ring and let them out of this hell.
Finally, the signal they had been waiting for. The bell rang loudly, making everyone jump. They had been so into the discussion they had lost track of time. All except Jonathan and Alex, who promply grabbed their books and began making their way to the door. Several feet sprouted from the seats in the row. All obviously meant to trip them, and all dodged so expertly, it was obvious that they had both had plenty of experience with them.
As they entered the hallway, Jonathan took her arm to lead her to the next class. In the rush of bodies already making their way down the hall, they could get seperated easily. Luckily the next class, World History, was just three doors down. Ducking into the room, they looked around. It seemed as though it was the same class all over again. Same looks of confused hatred, same air of superiority. Also the same seats. All the way in back, on the far right near the windows.
The only thing different about this class was the fact that the teacher was already present. Alex was again made to stand in front of the class and listen to the taunts and jeers of the others. And again, she sucked it up like before. This time, she didnt look quite so impurvious when she returned to her seat. It looked as though she was wilting under all of it.
"I dont know if I can go through this any more." she said. "Three more and Im done. I hope"
"Your doing fine." Jonathan told her, hoping he sounded encouraging, but probably only sounding lame. "I know its bad, but its only words. Just tell yourself that, and itll come easier."
Alex smiled wanely, and tried to suck it up.
"Shit!" she hissed, looking around for something franticly.
"What is it?" Jonathan asked worriedly.
"I forgot my book at home. Dammit! I knew I forgot something. This bites big wind!" she fumed, now looking even more depressed then before.
"Oh. Dont worry, you can share mine with me, if you want." he said.
Again, Alex looked at him with an unreadable look on her face, but replaced it with one of gratitude.
"Thanks." she said, again flashing him a smile. Jonathan smiled back, wondering if his face would cramp from the unusual expression. He seldom smiled.
The teacher then began roll call. When he came to Jonathans name, he looked up and noted that he was present, rather than asking him to call it out loud. Jonathan looked more relieved than anything else. He hated using his voice in class.
The rest of the class was so bubbly from the prospect of the assembley that the teacher had difficulty making them pay attention. Finally he gave up and told them to talk quietly among themselves while he made up a new lesson plan. Instantly the class erupted. Objects began flying through the air, and conversation became almost deafening. Jonathan and Alex just sat there, watching unobtrusively as the rest of the class reveled in the mayhem. Again the circus played out to the amusement of the two freaks, as they laughed inside at their foolish behavior. After almost twenty minutes, the teacher finally ordered them to settle down and pay attention. Two girls in the front became so infuriated at the command that they began to shout at him. How dare he order them about? The very idea! Soon a shouting match between the teacher and the rest of the students ensued, which was more amusing than before.
Finally the bell rang once more, releasing them from their cage. Nothing had been accomplished, and Jonathan felt a little annoyed that he had actually tried to learn something today.
"That class sucked big time!" Alex told him as they again entered the hallway. "I was actually going to pay attention this time!"
Jonathan looked at her sharply, suprised that she felt the same way, but she didnt notice. The traffic was carrying them away again.
"Whats your next class again?" he asked her, trying to remember.
"Ummmm.... Child Rearing I think. Yeah." she said, looking quickly at her schedual.
"Well I have to go to room 5, so I'll take you there first. Ill see you after third, ok?" he said, hoping she would be alright on her own.
"Ok, but Im just gonna wait outside the class for you, 'cause I still dont have a clue where Im goin!" Alex said, a little nervous now that she was alone.
"Well your Phys Ed class is in sixth period, so you wont have to go to that today. Just make it through this next half hour and youll be alright." Jonathan said, leading her to room 7. "Ill be here after class, dont go anywhere, ok?"
She nodded and entered the room, looking for a quiet seat to sit in. She seemed to do alright, so he turned and made his way to room 5, his Biology class. He liked his Bio class. He was always interested in things like anatomy and such. Quite interesting, actually. Much more interesting than the latest jeans, or the newest hairstyle, thats for certain.
But today, he couldnt concentrate on his work. His mind kept wandering back to how Alex was doing, all by herself in that class full of cheerleaders and preps. He could imagine how it must look, her, an island of black sanity in all that mindless pastel. He began to become paranoid, not for himself, but for her. This was a usual occurence. He always took other peoples problems on himself. It was one of his fatal flaws, but he couldnt help it. He felt responsible for her somehow, he wanted to protect her from all the things that could go wrong. He began to panic, and the only thing that kept him from getting to his feet and running down to that classroom was the fact that he knew she was not a weak individual. He knew she could take care of herself. That didnt make the anxiety go away, however. The clock seemed to move too slow, the minutes seeming like hours. He began to fidgit with his pen, tapping it again and again onto his desktop, eyes fixed on the clock.
The teacher noticed his fidgiting, clearing his throat loudly to get the attention of the entire class.
"Is there a problem, Mr Davis?" he asked sternly.
Jonathan instantly turned a shade of red, blushing at the attention now focused on him.
"No, sir. Im sorry." he said softly, looking down at his feet, and wishing he could crawl into the floor beneath them.
"Please stop that tapping and get back to your assignment. And dont disrupt this class again or you will be sent to the principals office, understand?"
"Yes, sir." Now the snickering started, disrupting the class, but not a thing was done to stop it. Certainly no trips to the principals office.
The bell rang, and now the class headed towards the door. Jonathan picked up his books and began to make his way through the rows of desks. He was impatient to get out of there and find Alex, hoping she would stay put. The hallway was not as crowded as before, and he spotted her easily, standing next to the door, clutching her books, and looking left to right. When she spotted him, she smiled and waved, then stayed where she was, waiting for Jonathan to reach her.
"I thought that class would never end!" she told him as he reached her, the tension in his chest finally released and making it easier to breathe.
"Yeah, I know how you feel. Third period is always a bitch." he said, hoping she wouldnt see how relived he was to see her safe and sound. She must have, because he could see that still unreadable expression on her face as she looked at him closely.
"You werent worried about me, were you?" she asked, with a little smile in her voice.
"A little." Jonathan admitted, blushing and looking down at the floor.
"Well thats sweet. No one ever worries about me." The smile she gave him then was the brightest yet. He wished she would move her hair out of her face. He still didnt know what was underneath it. Besides that long gash going down the side of her forehead that is.
Now he looked around, noticing the time on the clock above the door. Almost 11:15. They were going to be late for fourth period.
"Come on, we gotta book it to our next class or Mrs Lenly'll be pissed. She doesnt give any truck to new students either." he said, grabbing her hand and pulling her after him. The way to fourth period, room 25, was almost a three minute trip walking. They took a couple shortcuts and ran, so they just made the tardy bell. Inside the classroom, kids were just starting to settle down. The two late arrivals started a buzz of conversation. It was then that Jonathan noticed he was still holding Alex's hand. He let go just as they reached their seats. Way in back, near the windows. They sat down and looked around them. Again the eyes of the class all seemed to be on the two freaks. Even Mrs Lenly looked like she wanted them to drop off of the face of the Earth.
"Nice of you to join us today Mr Davis, Miss Henly." she said, taking an acid delight in the murmurs of the students about them. The sadistic teacher also took delight in the blushes of the two students as they heard the comments made. "Alright class, since we all seem to be here now," she said, narrowing her eyes at Jonathan and Alex, "we'll start by reading our essays aloud."
Jonathan groaned at the news. He knew he would be called on. Mrs Lenly was one of those sick, twisted, sadistic teachers who loved to torture her most vulnerable students, and Jonathan was her favorite target. At least he was prepared today. He had his essay done, and he memorized it just in case he forgot to bring it. As the class got up and read their essays, Jonathans confidence grew. His essay was much better than the best of the rest of the class'. However, when it came to be his turn, instead of calling on him, she skipped him and continued on to the rest of the class. Wondering why she had given up this golden oportunity to humiliate him in front of his new friend, he looked towards the front of the room. Mrs Lenly was sitting there with an almost kindly expression on her face. Startled, he jumped. The class droned on, and finally the bell rang.
"Oh Mr Davis, Miss Henly, would you stay after and talk with me for a bit please?" Mrs Lenly asked, sweetly.
Oh shit, Jonathan thought, here it comes.
"I see we have quite a little trend going here, havent we?" she asked
"What do you mean?" Jonathan asked, clearly confused.
"Oh come off it young man, everyone has been telling me whats going on between you two. You dont have to play dumb with me, although you do it quite well."
"What?" Alex asked, also confused.
"Please, girl, I've read your file, I know your not as stupid as that. And if you thought I was that stupid as well, not to notice what is going on here, then I should just put in a recomendation to have you expelled. I can see you two are, as they say now, "together", so dont insult my intelligence." she said, her true nasty personality leaking through her facade of sweetnes.
"I dont know what your talking about." Alex said. "We're not "together", as you said. Hes just showing me around the school. And he happens to have the same classes as me. Where did you get that from?"
"Well you know how people talk. And everyones talking about you two. Although I cant for the life of me see why. Two of the strangest people I have ever had the misfortune of meeting, and everyone wants to waste time talking about you." Mrs Lenly actually seemed to be angry at the two of them.
"Wait a minute." Jonathan said, trying to defend heimself and Alex, who didnt deserve to be assaulted by Mrs Lenly's acid temper. "People have always been talking about me, so why should this make any difference? And you just said why should they waste time talking about us, since we're so strange? Why are you wasting your time? I know your wasting ours!" With that, he grabbed Alex's hand again and walked out the door, leaving Mrs Lanly sitting there, gaping like a fish.
The sight of them walking down the hallway, holding hands, was enough to spark a huge murmur from the other students. At last they reached the student commons for lunch break. Since they didnt have anymore classes that day, they could relax for a while. Jonathan led her to a corner, near the window, of course, and sat down. Alex could see the hate and hurt in his eyes, and became worried about what he was going to say to her.
"What a bitch. I hate that fuckin bitch. I dont think there is any way I can tell you how much I hate that fucking bitch!" he told her, his head hanging down so she couldnt see his face.
"Hey now, innapropriate attitude, soldier!" she teased.
He looked up, and now she could see all the pain in his eyes, as well as the hate he felt for the old woman. He was actually on the verge of tears. She again became worried, not for what he would say, but for what he was about to do. He was going to cry, and that was not good. She knew they had to get out of here, where the prying eyes of countless people would see his pain and interpret it the wrong way. They would see a crying boy, who couldnt keep his feelings locked away, and thus wasnt one of them. They would point and laugh, because they wouldn't understand all the things going through his mind. What was worse, was that they would also feel vindicated, because it wasnt happening to them.
"Come on, get up." Alex ordered, rising to her feet.
Jonathan looked at her unbelivingly for a moment, but that unreadable expression was on her face once more. He didnt understand what she was trying to do. He just wanted to sit here and feel the hate consume him. It was what he had always done. It was what he wanted to do, but he also felt that Alex was trying to help him. So instead of staying where he was, he got to his feet, his head hung low, and followed Alex out of the commons.
"The pep assembley is taking the rest of the day, right?" she asked him, leading him to the student parking lot.
"Yeah." he said, looking at his feet measure out the ground as he tried to keep up with her. The tears still threatened to come, and he wanted to stop them.
"So they probably wont miss us, then, will they?"
"Why? Where are we going?"
"A place I found when I went out walking the streets. I think we need to go there now." she said, and he could tell, without looking at her, that that expression was still on her face. He could see her hair was blowing back from her face, but since he was behind her, he still couldnt see it. He wished she would just once let him see her face. He didnt care if there was a wound on her forehead. He just wanted to see it, just once.
They came to an old station wagon, brown and tan, with a Michigan license plate. A small toy doll hung from the rearview mirror by the neck, looking like a victim of a lynch mob. It reminded him sharply of the nightmare he had had last night, of the small girl who had been raped to death by her own father. Such were the sick, twisted things he was exposed to as a coroners assistant. He took it in stride, as he would undoutedly have to do several times. Swallowing his anxiety, he turned to Alex.
"Yours I take it?"
"My moms, actually. She let me borrow it for school cause she works the graveyard shift." she said. Her hair had fallen back over her face, a fact that Jonathan regreted.
Alex climbed into the drivers seat, and took out a keychain from her pocket. She inserted the key as he climbed in the passenger seat, buckling his seatbelt. As she turned the key, small whining noises eminated from under the hood. Finally the motor caught, and coughed to life. She put the car in reverse and backed out of the spot they were in. Jonathan clutched the dashbaord the whole time. One of the other products of working at the coroners office was his paranoia of riding in cars. He still had yet to get his licence, and probaly never would if he had anything to do about it.
"So where are we going?" Jonathan asked again, wondering why on Earth Alex had whisked him out of there so quickly.
"Youll see." she said, and offered one of her smiles. Jonathan smiled back. This was by far the most smiling he had done in a while. He didnt have much to smile about. But today, for some reason, it felt right.
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