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Drawings of Crazy Crap
Childhood Memories...
Kareer Day
The Untitled, Amazingly-Written, Fictional Story Of Jon Davis.
Naked Stuff!
The Price of Fame
Fire and Water
Twitchy Hungry Eye
I HAVE YOU TRAPPED!!!

You horny fools! You thought you would get to see the pictures of the nude! Instead you are now caught in my trap of tantilizing bait. I laugh at your primative human desires. -Here i go- MEH WAH AHAHAHAHAH! Now you are stuck on the page of bad poetry, unless of course you figure out that one may click on the back button to escape my evil trap. But sadly you are much too close to the IQ of a potato to relize this. Shame on your mother for hatching such drooling beasts! I don't feel good... : (

The Story of  the Useless Sponge
there once was a sponge who had no use
it was so bad he felt his neglect was some form of abuse
he sat by the sink still perfectly yellow and dry
15 years old and still no one would use him and he didn't know why
he came from a package filled with baby shampoo
the family had then just had a girl, all cute, pudgy and new
the house was uneventful, quite boring in fact
but that all changed with the sound of a gat
3 more gun shots exploded in the air
then hastened footsteps went quickly up the stairs
the sponge saw the girl he was given for
she looked crazy but now it was much more
she filled up the bucket with water and threw the sponge in
finally! to be of use! it felt so good it had to be a sin
she wrung him out and began to scrub the floor
then warm red liquid started to fill his every pore
she threw her family's bodies in the trach
then the gun and the sponge and closed the lid with a crash
the next morning she watched the garbage man come in his grunge
and said to herself, "I'll miss them about as much as that sponge."
by: me  
 

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Mummy Boy
He wasn't soft and pink
with a fat little tummy;
he was hard and hollow,
a little boy mummy.

"Tell us, please, Doctor,
the reason or cause,
why our bundle of joy
is just a bundle of gauze."

"My diagnosis," he said,
"for better or worse,
is that your son is the result of an old pharaoh's curse."

That night they talked
of their son's odd condition -
they called him "a reject
from an archeological expedition."

They thought of some complex scientific explanation,
but assumed it was simple
supernatural reincarnation.

With the other young tots
He only played twice,
an ancient game of virgin sacrifice.
(But the kids ran away, saying, "You aren't very nice.")

Alone and rejected, Mummy Boy wept,
then went to the cabinet
where the snack food was kept.

He wiped his wet sockets with his mummified sleeves
and sat down to a bowl of sugar-frosted tanna leaves.

One dark, gloomy day,
from out of the fog,
appeared a little white mummy dog.

For his new found wrapped pet,
he did many things,
like building a dog house
à la Pyramide of Kings.

It was late in the day -
just before dark.
Mummy Boy took his dog
for a walk in the park.

The park was empty
except for a squirrel,
and a birthday party for a Mexican girl.

The boys and girls had all started to play,
but noticed that thing that looked like papier mâché.

"Look, it's a piñata,"
said one of the boys,
"let's crack it wide open
and get the candy and the toys."

They took a baseball bat
and whacked open his head.
Mummy Boy fell to the ground;
he finally was dead.

Inside of his head
were no candy or prizes,
just a few stray beetles
of various sizes.

-Tim Burton

Robot Boy

Mr. an Mrs. Smith had a wonderful life.
They were a normal, happy husband and wife.
One day they got news that made Mr. Smith glad.
Mrs. Smith would would be a mom
which would make him the dad!
But something was wrong with their bundle of joy.
It wasn't human at all,
it was a robot boy!
He wasn't warm and cuddly
and he didn't have skin.
Instead there was a cold, thin layer of tin.
There were wires and tubes sticking out of his head.
He just lay there and stared,
not living or dead.

The only time he seemed alive at all
was with a long extension cord
plugged into the wall.

Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor,
"What have you done to my boy?
He's not flesh and blood,
he's aluminum alloy!"

The doctor said gently,
"What I'm going to say
will sound pretty wild.
But you're not the father
of this strange looking child.
You see, there still is some question
about the child's gender,
but we think that its father
is a microwave blender."

The Smith's lives were now filled
with misery and strife.
Mrs. Smith hated her husband,
and he hated his wife.
He never forgave her unholy alliance:
a sexual encounter
with a kitchen appliance.

And Robot Boy
grew to be a young man.

Though he was often mistaken
for a garbage can.

-Tim Burton

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Life isn't easy
for the Pin Cushion Queen.
When she sits alone on her throne
Pins push through her spleen.

-Tim Burton